Taking stock of your year

What would any of us do without the obligatory year-in-review? Here's my own Top 10 People, Places and Things that made my world go 'round:

10. Why FOX sucks
First, they string us along all summer over whether they will be renewing Arrested Development but they cut the episode order when no one's looking. Then, they order Reunion: a show that has a year-long, let me repeat, year-long story arc, only to dump it unceremoniously after 13 episodes. Yes, it was a tad cheesy but I liked it! FOX also dropped Family Guy only to come crawling back to Seth McFarlane two years later with dollar signs in its eyes. Seriously, choose your shows wisely on this network--it likes to play mind games.

9. Urban Tribes
"An intricate community of young people who live and work together in various combinations, form regular rituals, and provide the support of an extended family." If you don't have yourself one of these, get one! Whether it's having Secret Santas, playing Quizzo every week, joining a bowling league or a kickball team, urban tribal-ness is crucial to making it through your quarter-life crisis. You left your family and high school friends years ago, and now you've been forced to leave your college friends too? Without these folks you're toast. Last night, the remains of my tribe (who are still in town) made me a birthday cake, sang to me and cheered when I blew out the candles. Good shit.

8. Reading for pleasure
I have posted about the joy of reading before, but let me reiterate: you did not blow your mind's reading quota in college! For most of us, it has been at least two years since we did any serious reading anyway. Read for enjoyment. Read on the Metro. Read before you go to bed. Seriously, it is a great way to relax and unwind. Since I graduated, my yearly book total has skyrocketed and it's not only because I'm the one in charge of picking content. Reading now exercises those muscles that my job and US Weekly don't touch. Short stories, biographies, novels, you name it, I've read it and I've liked it!

7. Throwing parties
Ok I'm sure my roommate is laughing at this because I struggle through the actual planning of said parties, but the throwing them is always great! There is nothing better than feeling the love that throwing a party allows. People get excited, they write funny messages (thanks Evite) about why they're going to bring a reindeer and a dreidel to your Chrismukkah party or why they're ditching a wedding reception to come party on your roof. They ask what they can bring and send thank you emails. Throwing parties has given me the keen pleasure of making my guests (and myself) ill on Jell-O shots and RUM 'n' cokes. Ah, yes throwing parties has many benefits. Throw one and they will come.

6. TiVo
2005 marks the beginning of my relationship with TiVo and...I think it's serious. As a life-long TV uber-watcher, it only made sense that I banish commercials and welcome the joy of the season pass to my life. I've seen it all: Tom Cruise jumping on couches, Dave and Oprah playing nice, All The Daily Show my heart desires, Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy on Sunday nights with the urban tribe, Eurotrip (Scotty Doesn't Know!), SNL reruns, as well as random little "presents" that Kim and I TiVo for each other. I figure sooner rather than later the ad execs of the world will get together and figure out a way to foil TiVo's ad-free paradise, but until then network programmers can suck it.

5. Siblings
My brother and I became friends when I left for college. Now that he's in college, we have started hanging out in increasingly social situations. It's nice to know that while I've been knee-deep in my own stupid, petty, blog-inducing drama that he has become somewhat cool. We went to a bar together this year for the first time (snuck him in, awesome sister that I am) and I noticed that he is a fun and engaging person to talk to. He was the one that told me about Ladder Theory and he more than held his own in a conversation to back it up. Hmm. Siblings: They're not just for family vacations anymore.

4. Broken Bones/Casts/Physical Therapy
In case my whining didn't reach you in March, I tore a ligament in my wrist, broke a bone in said wrist and broke my nose while skiing in Utah with my family. This sucked for many obvious and not obvious reasons and now that I have the full use of my hand (and an only slightly crooked nose) I think I have an appropriate amount of perspective on my injuries. I learned that two hands are better than one, that black casts look cool if you have people sign them with silver sharpies, and that physical therapy is not only a great way to get out of work twice a week, it's also much better than surgery. I have also learned that you can't let one bad injury get you down: I'm going skiing again in '06.

3. Mini-reunions
Seeing your high school friends used to be easy: you would all be home for the same breaks in college so you'd have a chance to hang out. No more! Now you have different holidays off, some of you are in school, some of you have government flex days, and none of you have winter breaks. So what do you do? Plan mini-reunions. I've had three this year and they have been fantastic. I convinced two friends to spend 4th of July in DC (it's the one holiday DC has any cachet), then I was in Seattle on business and spent a long weekend there (might as well have work foot the bill for that $400 plane ticket), and then spent a weekend in Nueva York because one friend lives there and the other had a conference. It might not be the chill time in your kitchen that you're used to, but hey, it's something.

2. Celebrity Gossip
Ok, I love celebrity gossip as much (if not more) than the next girl, but did it reach a crazy fever pitch this year or what? Brangelina, TomKat, Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn, Nick and Jessica, InTouch, Life & Style, US Weekly, not to mention Pink is the New Blog, Go Fug Yourself, Defamer, and a million more sites and magazines I haven't mentioned. I do read some of these magazines and visit these sites, but I feel like I'm starting to know things about celebrities like I actually know them. I do not know these people, nor should I know so much about them. Even my father, who abhors everything about celebrity culture, knew that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were dating, pregnant, and got engaged on the top of the Eiffel Tower. As he said, "If I could make my brain unlearn that information, I would." I'm with you Pops. This sh*t is bananas.

1. Blogs
Blogs made a big comeback this year, and not just mine. Just look at the hefty list in my sidebar and you can see that blogs are it. Where else can you share your inane sense of humor, impart faux wisdom and obsess over your sitemeter? Blogs have struck a cord because we're all voyeuristic and attention-starved. Look at me! I'm funny! I'm witty! Read my blog! I'm interesting! Ok, I'm indicting myself on this one, but I don't care: I love my blog and I love reading everyone else's.


See you in 2006 bitches!


(This post is partially the brainchild of my friend Adam who suggested I make an end-of-the-year list. See Adam? Here's your shout out.)

Cultish

Campaigns, Hill offices, small consulting firms, academia...what do these fields have in common? The cult of personality. That's right, your entire future rests on the whims, moods, and desires of a singular person. If that person gets sick, mad, becomes senile, or in any way becomes incapable of interacting on a basic human level you are SCREWED. I have spent my entire (brief though it is) professional career working under these kinds of subjective conditions and let me tell you, it has not done anything to bolster my faith in humanity. People basically suck, and talented or power-hungry people suck more. They are unreasonable, unreliable, and they often make you decipher their completely unintelligible requests.

Books have been written on these people (The Devil Wears Prada), movies have been made (Working Girl), and I have heard of Hill staffers being forced to walk a Member's dog in the middle of a mark-up so the yippy thing won't piddle on the state seal. This is not a good use of an educated person's time! Much better to work within a nebulous corporate community or a large multi-national conglomerate so you don't confuse your hatred for "The Man" with an actual man.

Because the bottomline is this: people, no matter how talented, visionary, or intelligent they are are, only consider themselves quite happy 53% of the time.

There are not enough sick days in the world to weather that other 47%.

Deck the Halls (with money)

Ahh, 'tis the season for ridiculous lavish holiday parties! What is Christmas in Washington without the corporate interests throwing around their ill-gotten gains so poor kids like me can eat and drink for free? This week's star-studded events calendar included the Barr Laboratories party at the Phoenix Park on Tuesday, the California State Society's soiree at the U.S. Botanic Gardens on Wednesday, and tonight's shindig at the Northern Ireland Bureau. These events highlight not only the wealth that exists in this city, but the fact that everyone is a tool. Yes, that includes me. We are all equally capable of sliming our way into any party in this city.

"Yes I work in the Congresswoman's office--he should be here shortly."

"I'm going to fire that assistant of mine because he told me he RSVPed weeks ago!"

"Oh, Jane Simon isn't on the list? Is it under (quick glance at RSVPs) Reuben because that's my married name."

Etc, etc. We've all done it or have thought about doing it because we've all been to these fiestas. And because they're over-the-top and free, I look forward to them every year.

Happy Holidays!

Cowboys in Love

At first, its premise was mocked. Then I heard cries of women saying, "It's about time they showed two attractive men together on screen." And then New York Times reviewer waxed poetic and stated the movie proved that, "One tender moment's reprieve from loneliness can illuminate a life." When was the last time a movie incited so much interest?

I decided after seeing the first preview that I would see Brokeback Mountain, so when I descended on Nueva York this past weekend, Jenny and Lucia decided to surprise me with tickets (as a birthday present) to a Saturday afternoon showing at one of the three theaters it was playing at in Manhattan.

The movie did not disappoint, on several levels. First, as someone who has been forced to watch testosterone-driven Westerns, I appreciated the total subversion of the genre. Heath Ledger plays a Marlboro Man to the hilt, complete with monosllyabic utterances and repressed emotions, the expansive scenery is shot in an open, Manifest Destiny style, and then two cowboys have sex. This is not a John Wayne movie.

Second, how can you not applaud making a gay love story the focal point of a mainstream Hollywood movie? Our 2pm showing was packed and the movie had the highest per-showing average ($100,000+ on each of the five theaters where it opened) of any adult drama EVER. Hollywood follows the money and it is exciting that there is money to be made. Third, the three of us were kicked out of the theater as we stayed in our seats for at least a half an hour after the movie had ended to discuss everything from cowboy culture to what people in the hinterlands are going to think of this movie.

As good as the movie was, I wish that the gay plotline could have been kept under wraps because instead of the shock that I have heard people experienced when reading Annie Proulx's short story, I overanalyzed every glance and every sentence in the first hour in an attempt to see them falling in love instead of just watching it happen naturally.

For your consideration, movies as think pieces.

My extended family

I don't think that a strong network of adults who are not your parents can be overestimated.

Last night the father of a friend of mine from high school (middle school, elementary school, you get the idea) called me to say he was in town for business and could he take me to dinner? Well of course, because he is basically family. I met him after work and ate a meal with a man whose backyard I have run through sprinklers in, whose house was the site of my first kiss and whose daughter is inextricably linked to almost every memory I have from ages 5-16.

And this is not the first time something like this has happened. I went to dinner with a mother of another good friend of mine from home over the summer and I felt something similar: these are people who I grew up in front who now want to engage me on an adult level. I guess I should be thankful that they don't hold me to my adolescent miscues (sorry about that painting/table/liquor cabinet) but there's something surreal about talking to these people as equals. The interaction is further complicated by the fact that you both know the same people, their children and your parents, but in very different ways. I am firm believer that the "don't ask, don't tell" policy can never be applied too liberally when it comes to the antics of a child to one of their parents and vice versa. So where does that leave the conversation?

I find myself sharing more with these pseudo-parents expressly because they just that: pseudo. They have a mindset of a parent and the same values that my parents do, but without the added baggage of having raised me. I can use them as a dress rehearsal for when I have to get up the nerve to tell my parents that thing, so to speak. There is a certain amount of cartharsis that comes with this opportunity and I am eternally grateful for it.

Plus, who am I to pass up a free dinner?

No, you're so vain

Warren Beatty? Mick Jagger? James Taylor? The mystery man behind Carly Simon's hit You're So Vain has been hidden for 30+ years. Why do people care so much? This is hardly a secret that has Deep Throat-type significance and yet people can't stop conjecturing about it. Keeping this a secret seems like a welcome change from the instant gratification, who-is-dating/fucking/divorcing who, I can't believe what she's wearing/saying/thinking, celebrity culture that I am definitely guilty of buying into. We should all take a lesson from the little song that could; a little mystery is a good thing.

I hope she never tells.

The Weary Traveler

So I'm sitting in my hotel room, eating room service for the first time in my life, and watching Sleepers for the umpteenth time because as much as it disturbs me, I also think it's a phenomenal movie. This scene is made even more depressing by the fact that I have forgotten my cell phone and I refuse to pay for calls from the hotel's phone so I'm completely unreachable. I'm in Wilmington, Delaware and that's when it hits me: business travel sucks.
I had heard people complain about business trips, but never really experienced the suckiness until yesterday.

My first business trip was to Denver for the '04 election and besides the cold weather and long hours, it was fantastic. We made fun of people on Halloween for dressing up, I learned that Rocky Mountain High also applies to alcohol, and our candidate won. Not bad.

Then I went to Boston and spent two days catering to my boss' every whim, but spent the night there drinking alcohol out of a bowl and embarrassing myself mightily in front of my family friend's fiancee. Whatever, it made for a good story at the wedding.

Then I went to Seattle for a week in August. If you don't know much about Seattle, know this: August and September are the best times to visit. It is perfect weather. I was also put up at a four-star hotel and had dinner on the top floor of the Space Needle, all expenses paid.

Little Rock was its own adventure and that but that brings me to yesterday. I knew the trip was already off to a bad start when my coworker, who I usually travel with, wasn't going to be able to go. Strike one. I hauled myself out of bed and 7am and of course my train was delayed. Strike two. When I got to the convention center and I quickly realized I've been asked to do mission: impossible. It was obvious that the conference was much smaller and more difficult to navigate than I had expected. I made what contacts I could and fled shortly after the evening's reception started.

So that is why I was sitting in my room at 8 eating room service and watching TV. I figured I'd go to bed at 11 after the movie was over. I was exhausted and at least I could get a good night's sleep.

Nine hours and one lumpy-ass mattress later I checked out. Strike three.