Tommy can you hear me??
I can't believe I'm going to write this because it just confirms that I've been thinking WAY too much about it. But there it is. TomKat has produced a heir and it is wrong!!
Witness Katie Holmes circa January 2005: she's Punk'd by Ashton Kutcher, is making her biggest movie to date (Batman Begins) and has just broken up with her fiancee Chris Klein. She's 26 years-old, Midwestern, hot, and has a shitload of talent. I would have to say that she's in my Jennifer Garner category of celebrity girl crushes: hot, cool, friendly, normal seeming brunettes that I would have known in high school or college.
Kate (*cringe*) Holmes circa April 2006: she's just had a baby with Tom Cruise who is fifteen years her senior, she's a Scientologist, and her fiancee has gone all over the world proclaiming his love for her in between his assertions that Matt Lauer is glib, Brooke Shields needs vitamins, and silent birth is best for the baby.
WTF??
This whole situation is not normal. She's gone from this normal B-level actress who was on a seminal teen soap to this space-cadet-brain-washed-TomKat phenomenon. She is no longer normal, cool, or even that hot. Nothing that happens between the two of them is surprising because everything that happens involving the two of them is crazy. If Tom Cruise truly does LOVE her there are normal, healthy, and even cute ways to make this clear without jumping on furniture or PDA-ing his way across a red carpet.
We get it! You're in love!!! So are millions of other people who don't act like freak shows!! Nicole Kidman has to feel pretty good that she got out when she did, but don't you almost feel a little bad for her? Tom is making it clear that his love for her was of the typical, human variety while his love for Kate (natch) transcends boundaries--and good taste.
There is only one thing that is keeping me from giving up on Katie altogether: my everlasting faith in the failure of celebrity marriages. Even if she never does another movie, I wholeheartedly believe that they will not be together in five years. She will emerge from this Scientology-induced nightmare and go on Barbara Walters and cry and we will welcome her back with open arms because Tom and his freakish perfect smile are scary.
Pacey, do something!
Witness Katie Holmes circa January 2005: she's Punk'd by Ashton Kutcher, is making her biggest movie to date (Batman Begins) and has just broken up with her fiancee Chris Klein. She's 26 years-old, Midwestern, hot, and has a shitload of talent. I would have to say that she's in my Jennifer Garner category of celebrity girl crushes: hot, cool, friendly, normal seeming brunettes that I would have known in high school or college.
Kate (*cringe*) Holmes circa April 2006: she's just had a baby with Tom Cruise who is fifteen years her senior, she's a Scientologist, and her fiancee has gone all over the world proclaiming his love for her in between his assertions that Matt Lauer is glib, Brooke Shields needs vitamins, and silent birth is best for the baby.
WTF??
This whole situation is not normal. She's gone from this normal B-level actress who was on a seminal teen soap to this space-cadet-brain-washed-TomKat phenomenon. She is no longer normal, cool, or even that hot. Nothing that happens between the two of them is surprising because everything that happens involving the two of them is crazy. If Tom Cruise truly does LOVE her there are normal, healthy, and even cute ways to make this clear without jumping on furniture or PDA-ing his way across a red carpet.
We get it! You're in love!!! So are millions of other people who don't act like freak shows!! Nicole Kidman has to feel pretty good that she got out when she did, but don't you almost feel a little bad for her? Tom is making it clear that his love for her was of the typical, human variety while his love for Kate (natch) transcends boundaries--and good taste.
There is only one thing that is keeping me from giving up on Katie altogether: my everlasting faith in the failure of celebrity marriages. Even if she never does another movie, I wholeheartedly believe that they will not be together in five years. She will emerge from this Scientology-induced nightmare and go on Barbara Walters and cry and we will welcome her back with open arms because Tom and his freakish perfect smile are scary.
Pacey, do something!
posted by Libberash at 11:13 PM
1 Comments:
I keep hoping that this is all being orchestrated by Kevin Williamson, and that at the elevent hour Pacey will sweep in to rescue poor Joey from the clutches of the evil cult.
Time to get a move-on, Kev. I think the apocalypse is nigh.
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