A Scholarly Debate

Ok, I just can't take it anymore. Last night's episode of The O.C. finally pushed me to this:

EJTakesLife and I discuss: MARISSA COOPER vs. KELLY TAYLOR


Libberash: last night's coke put it over the edge
EJTakesLife: omigod
EJTakesLife: i almost rolled off the couch laughing
EJTakesLife: so funny
Libberash: both attracted to bad boys
Libberash: both came off kind of bitchy in the first season
Libberash: but ultimately lovable
Libberash: both have been raped or near raped
EJTakesLife: oh see i don't find marissa cooper lovable at all
Libberash: she had her moments
Libberash: (i'm watching the first season on dvd)
EJTakesLife: ahhh
EJTakesLife: kelly taylor is the bad girl who isn't
EJTakesLife: and marissa cooper is the good girl who isn't
Libberash: did kelly ever shoplift?
Libberash: both had stalkers
Libberash: every guy falls in love with them
EJTakesLife: both have weird relationships with their moms
Libberash: they both had best friends who had long term relationships with kinda dorky guys (David Silver in his near-glorious rappin' heyday)
EJTakesLife: both of their moms married the dads of their friends
Libberash: haha, true
Libberash: marissa hasn't joined a cult yet, but there's still time
EJTakesLife: oh yeah, it's only the 3rd season
Libberash: both have weird/horrible fashion sense
EJTakesLife: both of them are obsessed with fashion but often wear ridiculous things
EJTakesLife: oh wow! great minds..
EJTakesLife: but there are some differences
EJTakesLife: marissa cooper will never have short hair
Libberash: true
EJTakesLife: and kelly taylor, to my knowledge, never f*cked the pool boy
Libberash: hey, the pool boy was probably the most normal guy she ever hooked up with
EJTakesLife: true
Libberash: both had love triangles
Libberash: brandon-kelly-dylan and ryan-marissa-luke
EJTakesLife: yeah, but you always knew that ryan and marissa would end up together
EJTakesLife: with brandon and dylan it was up in the air
Libberash: she and summer have never fought over a boy
Libberash: and the most obvious difference
Libberash: kelly's a blonde, marissa's a brunette
EJTakesLife: yes, but they've both flirted with the other side
EJTakesLife: OOH!
EJTakesLife: speaking of
EJTakesLife: did kelly taylor ever have a lesbian relationship?
Libberash: hmmm
Libberash: i don't think so
Libberash: 90210 wasn't quite there yet
EJTakesLife: there was the fire girl, but that was more single-white-female
Libberash: but she was friends with that gay guy that had AIDS!
EJTakesLife: that's RIGHT
EJTakesLife: how progressive
Libberash: oh totally
Libberash: that was like 1997
Libberash: and she cut her hand!
Libberash: GASP!
EJTakesLife: one woman's AIDS scare is another woman's sweeps-timed lesbian experiment
Libberash: wait
EJTakesLife: what?
Libberash: kaitlin's like that girl... erica!
EJTakesLife: who was erica?
EJTakesLife: was that the fire girl?
Libberash: dylan's long-lost little sister
EJTakesLife: yes! that's right!
Libberash: who ended up being a hooker i think
EJTakesLife: but kaitlin's a skanky evil whore
EJTakesLife: i thought they took erica to brazil for the cult
EJTakesLife: no, they went to brazil b/c they stole dylan's money
EJTakesLife: did she become a hooker after that??
Libberash: yes, she did
Libberash: not brazil, mexico
Libberash: and valerie went with dylan
Libberash: yes
EJTakesLife: and JONESY
EJTakesLife: omigod
EJTakesLife: why do we remember these things?
EJTakesLife: ooh, i've got another one: sadie is totally emily valentine
Libberash: nooooooo, i like sadie!
EJTakesLife: exactly! she's the Other Woman for the brandon figure who is actually a much better fit for him
EJTakesLife: but who, because she'd get in the heroine's way, has her contract canceled
Libberash: but brandon and kelly weren't together yet
EJTakesLife: this is true. but sadie and emily valentine are both funky and live up north and make the hero waaaay happier than the heroine ever did
Libberash: i thought kelly and brandon were cute!
EJTakesLife: they were, but it never felt right... like two kids playing house, but not two people who really wanted each other
EJTakesLife: none of the kelly-dylan heat
Libberash: that's true...
EJTakesLife: did we just spend the last 20 minutes of our lives thinking about this?
Libberash: yes we did
EJTakesLife: works for me
Libberash: me too