A Change Would Do You Good

I don't do change. I mean, everyone does change because change is constant, but I don't do change well. At all. I blame my parents for providing the type of stability that is seemingly impossible to achieve for such a long stretch of time: 20 years in the same house, nine years at the same school, taking the same vacation for 12 years (ok, there I could have used some variation), three living grandparents, neither parent switched careers, no divorce or significant death... I mean this is once-in-a-millenium kind of stability the provided me with a ridiculously happy and well-adjusted childhood and allowed me to come almost unhinged at any sign of change thereafter. So you can imagine between starting college, interning in DC, studying abroad, graduating, falling in love and breaking up, and starting and ending jobs that I don't always deal very well with these situations.

But as of late change has been overtaking me at a pace that I can no longer ignore. Things are changing and I can stand on the side and freak out or I can let it happen while freaking out. I choose the latter. Freaking out is a natural part of my adaptation skills.

At point of change: "This is sooooooooo crazy?!?! How did I get in this situation?? What is it going to be like? This is weird! What will I do?? (Tears optional)

Six months later: "This is awesome. I can't believe I flipped out. I was being silly/immature/ridiculous."

So what's the big change, you ask? Well, getting into grad school seems like a big deal. I feel like I gave birth. One day I was bitching about what I was going to do with my life and the next day I was starting an application, writing and re-writing an essay, and harassing old professors for recommendations. Three and a half weeks later, boom! I log onto my application status page and I'm in. Huh?? How did that happen? Yesterday I got the BIG envelope in the mail which means that this whole thing is real. They like me, they really like me!

So regardless of whether I initiated the change (you should have seen me before college!), it is still allowable for me to freak out, right? Well, this is where there is a differing of opinion. Some say, "Yeah, change is overwhelming so you need to do whatever works to handle it." But others say, "Libberash, stop being a brat! You wanted this and you got it!! This. Is. A. Good. Thing."

I am both of those people.